PLEASE READ POST BEFORE VIEWING:
I dropped this post last year. Before most of ya’ll knew about the Daily Math. Not tryna re-hash, but I just got an update. Let’s start from the beginning.
Two Springs ago, wifey and I went to a party with our friends Dave and Karen. Both are white, and we went to an Obama fundraiser house party thingie in Park Slope. I was the only Black man there. Go figure. Anyways, Dave, who works in the film industry, was telling me about one of his co-workers who was directing his first lil indie flick. There’s a scene in the flick where one of the actors, in an attempt to escape someone, is supposed to jump off a garage roof that’s like 20-25 10 – 15 feet from the ground. During the actual filming of that scene, the actor took one look off the platform and was like “Fuck that, dude, I’m an actor, not no stuntman.” Geeked about the project and determined to motivate his actor to actually go through with the stunt, the director, who was like 20 years old, decided he would demonstrate how the actor should do it, you know, walk the walk. So the director dude gets to the top of the platform, jumps, lands and effin completely SHATTERS both of his heel bones into millions of tiny little pieces!
The doctors said it would be about a year and a half before dude could walk again. How in the eff does one even put together a shattered heel, let alone two? Funny shit is when Dave was describing to me how dude looked when he’d roll through the office in his wheel chair, legs sticking straight the eff out. Or when it rains or snows, and dude’s chair is blue tarped out, just to keep his shit dry and looking like a grade A dick. [||].
Last year, Dave emails me a youtube clip of this event, just cause the camera crew was on point like that. It’s short, and if you turn the volume up you can hear the director’s heels exploding into teeny tiny particles of magic pixie dust.
Ouch and lol!
UPDATE: Wifey and I hung out with Dave and Karen last weekend. I asked about homie and Dave’s face turn grim. Told me how, after 7 or 8 operations, dude’s doctor told him he’d NEVER walk again, not without serious leg braces, crutches bionic replacements and a new model wheel chair. The damages were that extensive. A couple of months after that, dude just wasn’t working out on the job. Not that they had anything against the handicapped and what not, but the film company viewed dude more as being a liabilty, what with him proving that he was more of an asshole as opposed to a gimp. Shortly that, his fiance for three years just couldn’t seal the deal. Especially because circumstances had severely changed. That, plus how they had spent all of their savings for a wedding on dude’s numerous, but failed, ankle treatments.
Dave’s since fallen out of touch with dude, but is surmising that he may now be homeless.
If you happen to see a cat with a cup, maybe in front of the Union Square Whole Foods, and with a handwritten cardboard sign that might read “Will Hobble For Food”, be kind and throw him a bone, just on gp, and as a sign of appreciation for how he went all out in his artistic endeavors, just to entertain us all today.
About Combat Jack
Attorney, author and radio personality Reggie Ossé is an established authority in all things urban entertainment. He is considered the first in today’s new wave of savvy attorneys well versed and nurtured in Urban, Hip Hop and Popular culture. He is the author of “Bling, The Hip Hop Jewelry Book”, a cultural anthropology coffee table book which provides an in depth and entertaining study of man’s fascination with jewelry spanning back to the birth of civilization.
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