Tag Archives | Jay-Z

Children are often asked some complex questions.

As a youth, I tended to do my share of average dumb junk:  kick down doors, knock down fences, botch petty theft from churches, beat on the racist neighbors, and a bunch of other junk that sounds harder when written than it really was.  After I got caught after each situation (smooth I was not) and right before getting justifiably beat, my mom dukes would always find out who did the dumb-dumb with me, and then ask me the following question: “If such-n-such jumped off a bridge, would you? “.  Off top, I was somewhat glad she asked this since I was usually the leader in most of these affairs, thus a better question woulda been  ”When you jump off the bridge, should they?”, but that’s neither/nor.  The real issue was the grip of gray area in this question that she always thought should yield the answer “no”.  But to me, to answer that question properly, first we gotta talk about who’s jumping off the bridge and what’s to gain from it when I dive in after that fool.  I mean is it 2-tooth cracked out Suzy down the street from grandma OR is it Donald Trump’s son with a reward in tow?  OR was it gonna be my IT girl form back in the day, Rachel from Caribbean Rhythms?  Is she wearing one of them bikinis that she never actually got in the water with?  Can she even really swim?  If not, I’m putting money on my mean doggy paddle to come through to save her just to hear her cough out some thank with her Cleo suspect accent followed by me telling her my repayment plan. Continue Reading →